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  • majoki


“Get a job! You need to work!”

“That’s all I ever do. Work.”

“You sit around all day, consuming media and eating junk food. How’s that work?”

“I’m dissipating heat energy. It’s vital work and my avowed purpose. It’s life’s true justification: to dissipate heat energy. Life is much more efficient at dispersing heat than inorganic matter, and we are the evolutionary pinnacle of complex, energy-hungry, life forms. You see? I work my butt off.”

“For what? How does dissipating heat energy benefit anyone?”

“When energy is evenly distributed throughout the cosmos, then all creation will be complete. Cold and complete.”

“And how does that help you and me?”

“We did our part, all us little biological heat sinks, steadfastly radiating concentrated energy across the timeless depths. It’s our highest calling. Look at the shining auras and halos of our prophets, saints and saviors. Their divine radiance makes it very clear. We are here to fulfill but one thing: dissipating heat energy.”

“That’s it? We’re just chatty heat sinks? Neurotic radiators?”

“It makes more sense than believing we are chosen ones, destined to conquer the universe and achieve heavenly perfection. Be real. We’re trashing our planet and our social fabric. Much better to accept our role in cosmic cooling. It is the chill thing to do. To just be.”

“Sounds like giving up.”

“More like giving off. Let the energy out. Don’t hold it in. Don’t hold back. Flow.”


"Be the conduit. Let your ambitions, your desires, your dreams go. They're nothing but waste. Heat waste. Let it flow."

“You really believe this?”

“I think, therefore I dissipate.”

“Well, there’s little doubt now that you are a piece of work. Quite a piece of work.”

“Now you get it. Toss me those Cheetos and Red Bull, I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

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